If the world didn’t enjoy at good dating story, then there wouldn’t be so many romantic comedies out in the theaters. In reality, however, things don’t always turn out like they do in the films. Sometimes, dates can range from being exceptional to being downright horrific. Great or not, we still love hearing a good date story. Luckily, The Single Society is here to transform all of your bad date stories into ones that will leave us laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt. This time around, find out how one local gal got caught up with a Silicon Valley {wannabe} super douche. Keep reading to find out all about this bad date at a brewery.
Jason and I went out after chatting for roughly a week via Match.com.
Jason was hot off of a lengthy and slightly tumultuous divorce, but seemed rather emotionally prepared to jump back into the dating game considering his unfortunate situation.
Being that I, myself, was recently single {or hadn’t been laid in months}, I decided I would give it a whirl.
Punctual {as usual}, I arrived at an upscale grill and brewery to meet Jason, yet he was nowhere to be found.
See More: A Bad Date in the West Village: Bot Sh*t Crazy
One pale ale and 32 minutes later I decided to close my tab when Jason {finally} appeared on the scene donned in mesh gym shorts, a v-neck t-shirt depicting the Ninja Turtles circa 1992, and a disheveled mess of hair beneath his fitted ball cap. He seemed as if he was literally trying to be as unkempt as humanly possible.
Not even acknowledging his tardiness Jason ordered a whiskey and Coke, and we delved into some light conversation.
After mentioning that he was feeling rather drained from a crazy work week, I inquired about what he did for a living.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied smugly.
“I’m not worried at all, I was just asking,” I replied with an equal amount of sarcasm.
Jason proceeded to tell me how he was currently doing various odd jobs to earn money and dove into detail about his financial hardships paying off the massive amount of debt he had acquired over the years.
I spent the next precious 45 minutes of my life listening to Jason oddly boasting about {as if it were something to boast about} how absolutely flat broke he was.
“It’s funny, I am so broke that I don’t even remember the last dinner I ate that wasn’t ramen noodles.”
After a plethora of comments of this nature and asking zero questions about my life whatsoever, I finished my drink and mentioned what an early morning I had the following day {I was totally planning on sleeping in and working from home, in reality}.
Read More: A Date at an NYC Rooftop Bar: The Nails in the Coffin
I retrieved my wallet from my parka, fully expecting to cover the tab when Jason pulled a fat wad of $100 bills from his money clip.
“I got this,” he said.
Having just listened to him lament his pathetically destitute existence for the better part of an hour, I was most certainly puzzled.
“I am actually not broke. That was just a test because I want to know that no one is after me because I am successful.”
Jason then informed me that he {thinks he} is essentially the next Silicon Valley superstar, and that I should watch out for his name because he was to become the next Bezos or Zuckerberg as his start-up just received $500k in funding.
“You passed the test though since you stayed for another drink,” he graciously informed me, insinuating that I had the coveted privilege of accompanying him on a second date.
I kindly said while I do appreciate the offer, I suggest he dedicate some time to actually getting to know a person on a date rather than “testing” them with fabricated nonsense.
“It’s cool. I wasn’t really that into it anyway. I go out with way better-looking girls than you,” he said.
I made my exit but not before telling him that he had some serious issues.
I have yet to hear anything in Forbes Magazine about this self-proclaimed “superstar,” and I’m not holding my breath.
Have you got an entertaining dating story of your own from Hoboken or Jersey City?
Email hobokengirlteam@gmail.com with subject DATING STORY to share yours!
