Home Culture A Guide to Picking Up Your Dog’s Sh*t in Hoboken {or Anywhere}

A Guide to Picking Up Your Dog’s Sh*t in Hoboken {or Anywhere}

by Jennifer Tripucka
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You better watch your dog’s back. Literally. Hoboken announced a new ordinance on dog poop this week that carries a fine as hefty as the amount of dog waste covering the streets {2000+, that is}. The issue has gotten so out of hand that cops are actually going undercover to get residents to deal with their own dogsh*t or else face a fine of $250 – $2,000!

Apparently, the plastic bag ban is negatively impacting certain Hoboken residents, who no longer see a viable solution for picking up their dog’s excrement off of the sidewalks and city streets. We kid. But SRSLY.

So to help the seemingly lost residents who cannot handle picking up after their dogs late at night or when no one is watching, this post is for you. Your comprehensive guide and how to make sure you ALWAYS clean up your dog’s sh*t. Please share this far and wide, in hopes that the culprits will see, feel guilty, and get their acts together {and this is coming from a current dog owner x 2 that is just as mad about the poop sitch}:

1. Always have a full supply of poop bags on hand.

dog poop hoboken

Thankfully, there are a few pet stores in town that sell biodegradable waste bags. Hoboken Pet, Cornerstone, Beowoof, even Shoprite all carry plastic poop bags. NO EXCUSES.

“These bags will magically transport dog poop to decompose in a landfill, which is favorable to someone’s baby stroller rolling dog poop home to their living room floor. Some bags are even scented, making dog walking and poop-scooping an even more pleasurable experience,” says human poop expert Doody Free Girl.

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2. When in doubt or without — improvise.

temporary no parking signs

Thought your dog was just going for a quick pee and ended up taking a big doo doo in the middle of the street? Been there. Fear not. Lucky for Hoboken residents, those temporary no parking signs that are left up for weeks on end after they’ve expired are the perfect solution. Rip half of one off, curl it up, and you’ve got yourself a pooper scooper {and may as well add yourself to the city’s parking payroll, STAT}. Just a little reduce, reuse, recycle — don’t let those lovely signs that take up our spots go to waste!

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3. Know that we’re *all* watching you. ON CAMERA.

watching dog poop

Spoiler alert, we have been sent so many screenshots of residents on people’s nest cameras caught allowing their dogs to poop without picking up that we could literally start a Regina George burn book. And soon, we will. It’s 2019. Cameras are everywhere. You don’t want to be caught. 

And if you do, smile for the camera!

4. There’s an Instagram account dedicated to your dog’s poop left unattended.

dog poop hoboken

We shared about it as one of the most unique accounts to follow in 2019, not knowing how sh*tty of an issue it would be in the months to come. @PoopsofHoboken didn’t create itself. You did.

5. FYI: Out of sight is *not* out of mind.

Newsflash: Even if covered/buried in snow or dirt or a tree stump, the poop will make its way to the top…especially in the springtime. Trash can should be your only option.

6. Take advantage of the one time you can use a plastic bag in Hoboken.

plastic bag ban

For those complaining about the plastic bag ban, here’s your chance. USE YOUR PLASTIC BAGS! 

7. You’re responsible for making other dogs sick.

Perhaps knowing that your dog’s poop leftover on the ground may cause Giardia and other parasites in dogs that sniff said leftovers will change the tune.

8. There are many tools to assist you, should you be too lazy to pick it up yourself.

Now, we understand that it’s unfair to assume that said dog owner is just not willing to manage their own sh*t. Perhaps, the dog owner has a disability or injury, or perhaps their dog ran around the corner to handle their business — or the dog walker had too many dogs to walk at once {not a valid excuse, but still}.

Here are a few tools to help:

9. Picking up poop will help you live a guilt-free life.

There’s nothing like a good night’s sleep when you’ve picked up all your dog’s poop and placed it correctly in the trash. Sweet dreams!

10. Remember that you’re actually breaking the law.

If nothing else deters you, hopefully, the new ordinance will.

Here’s more info on what will be enforced, allegedly more rigorously:

The City of Hoboken shared some pet laws to follow on social media:

Leash Your Dog: Dogs on sidewalks, streets and in parks must be on leash, except when in a dog run.

Pick Up The Poop: Failing to pick up after your pet on sidewalks, streets, and in parks is punishable by a fine of up to $2,000.

License Your Pet: All dogs in Hoboken MUST be licensed by law. Learn more at hobokennj.gov/petlicense.

Dispose Of It Properly: Dispose of pet waste in your trash can or one of Hoboken’s 300+ public trash cans.

So there you have it. Stop this sh*t, Hoboken.

It’s madness.



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