It’s Tuesday night, November 2, 2021. You’ve just won the Hoboken mayoral election. But now, what do you do? There’s just so much to tackle, so little time.
As we waited for the Hoboken City Council and Board of Education, and State Senate results, we asked our local readers just that – with a particular emphasis on wrong answers only. Read on for the genius responses.
While not everyone can see eye to eye on everything, one thing is for sure. Eating, drinking, and flooding are top of the list with our Instagram mayors. Here’s what they had to say:
- Free bottle of wine to each first floor/basement resident for every inch of floodwater measured. – @curlydontcare
- Turn the ShopRite parking lot into a swimming pool cause tbh it already is one like half the time anyways. – @nicolem11
- Make Fiore’s Roast Beef Sandwich an everyday menu item. – @djjoeydisarno
- Encourage real estate developers to make the sun go away entirely. – @hstampleman
- Craft an ark out of meats and mutz from our various delis and sail it down the Hudson. – @laughatmyfood
- Dog lanes, not bike lanes. – @thejennifertrip
- Induct Hoboken Batman into the Hoboken Police force, so he can fight crime. – @lowasow
- Slice of pizza on your car instead of a parking ticket. – @ttripucka
- Mandate waving to cards when they let you cross the street. – @dandrobnis
- Mandate ‘vente’ be changed to medium. – @dr_warner — we’d have to agree with this one whole-heartedly. @Ravi, can you look into this?
- Ban double wide strollers. – (We’ll keep this Instagram user’s identity safe so that he can continue to live in Hoboken safely).
And from Our Twitter Mayors
Increase the size of Benny Tudino’s pizza slices
— Rachel Hirschhaut, MS (@HirschhautH) November 2, 2021
Install a zipline to the city, and force all citizens to buy harnesses. (I fake “ran for mayor on this campaign” back after I graduated from Stevens)
— tehdiplomat (@tehdiplomat) November 3, 2021
— Brian (@bdehner1) November 2, 2021
What would you add to the list? Check the real local election results here.